When Mother’s Day Is Emotional

“Her death the dividing mark: Before and After,” writes Theo about his mother in Donna Tart’s The Goldfinch. “Things would have turned out better if she had lived. When I lost sight of her I lost sight of any landmark that might have led me someplace happier, to some more populated or congenial life.”

Life is heavy. Life is hard. Life is also incredibly busy. With the responsibilities of being a husband, the father of five, and a pastor, I don’t have much time to sit and reflect on the grief and pain within my heart. I believe this is a mercy from God because I would probably fall into despair if I spent all my time reflecting on the good old days, focusing on what I don’t have, and lamenting the death of my birth mom and my adopted mom. But I do think of them often. Whenever I fold a towel her way, make an omelet just like she taught me, wash dishes using “elbow grease,” or listen to her favorite country station, I’m reminded of Mom’s influence in my life. It’s always the little things that catch me off guard—a picture, an old friend, a familiar place.

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Identity and Mission in a Post-Christian Culture— Lessons from 1 Peter

Having recently finished preaching 25 sermons through Peter’s first epistle in a series entitled “Exiles on Mission,” I have chronicled some of the most important lessons learned. I chose this book because I found it to be particularly relevant to our church’s situation: a new church plant in one of the most secular, unchurched, post-Christian parts of our country. Peter’s letter is like a roadmap for our journey or an instruction manual for our life that contains our marching orders. I tailored the application and implications of his letter specifically to my congregation as we are breaking into new, hard soil and establishing our culture from the ground up. The advice of Diane Chambers (from the show Cheers) to a belligerent Yankees fan in Boston is particularly relevant to our situation: “Please bear in mind, you are in an alien camp. Tact is perhaps your wisest recourse.” My simple hope is that these ordinary, timeless principles are an encouragement from one fellow, weary exile on mission to another as we find ourselves in an increasing hostile, alien camp.

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Haunted Dreams and Hallowed Nightmares

“I’m going home, back to New Hampshire. I’m so determined; I’m so determined.” As a sojourner in CA for eight years, I maintained a certain soundtrack to my life. I listened to songs that reminded me of and made me reflect on home. One of my most-often-played and most-often-listened-to songs was “New Hampshire” by Matt Pond PA—an eerily beautiful song about regret and nostalgia.1 When some people on the West Coast had the audacity to tell me I would never go back, this one line became my prayer, my manifesto, my stubborn anthem that I sang along to. The line resonated with my heart and reinforced my deepest desire. Returning home was my burning passion and most cherished dream.

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Comforting Resources on Grief

Emily Dickinson once wrote, “I can wade grief, whole pools of it, I’m used to that.” On one hand, I can relate as I have been literally wading grief my entire life. I lost my birth mother at two years old and just lost my adoptive mom a year ago. It’s been a constant, lifelong journey—subconscious at times, palpable at others. Yet on the other hand, I can’t quite relate to the last part because grief is not something you get used to in this life. It is ever present—yes—but it is never normalized. Even in the ubiquity of tragedy, we wrestle and reckon with it, but never actually come to grips with it. The hurting and aching following loss will always remain in our hearts on this side of glory. Through the grieving process I’ve found comfort in Scripture and in songs, but I’ve also found it in great books.

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Lessons from a Jarring Year

Pandemic. Revolution. Political polarization. And, oh the memes! With trace levels of dystopia, this year has been a cataclysm of catastrophe, chaos, conspiracy, and civil unrest. But aside from my unmet expectations, constant disappointments, and myriad frustrations, this year hasn’t been explicitly difficult or substantially challenging for me (some things were actually easier). However, there was this underlying uneasiness that persisted as a result of . . . well, change and abnormality.

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The Basis of The Greatest Commandment

The Greatest Commandment (3)

The greatest commandment is a high calling. Loving God with your whole heart, soul, and strength is no easy task. What is the groundwork for such a command? Is this command rooted in our ability to please God and earn his favor? Or is the basis for the command who God is and what he has already done?

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A Seminary Student’s Journey In and Out of Depression

The following is the story of my completely unexpected struggle with depression during my first semester of seminary and the important lessons that I learned along the way. It is much better to be overwhelmed with God than with your circumstances.

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